How to Spend Your Free Time

Dear Aditi,
   I have had a lot of free time, and I love it but I also can't stand it. I made a list of things I should be doing; and it is quite a long list of things. And I still won't be doing them. When I thought I had nothing to do, I was bored to death and the moment I realised I might have something it do, I magically found something to do.
It's a really dumb thing I do, but I really love watching K-Drama and K-Pop. I started watching one called Bubblegum. It is about a girl who works in a radio station and a guy who is a doctor. And they were childhood friends- who practically grew up together, they both have feeling for eachother, but- there is a big but in the middle (obviously)- the guy's mother kind of hates the girl and doesn't want any sort of relationship between them because according to the mother this doctor fellow can get a much better girl. So radio station girl tries to distance herself from doctor guy, unsuccessfully.
Bubblegum isn't the best K-Drama I have seen, that would probably be Master's Sun and She Was Pretty is a close second. But it does have potential. And the characters seem interesting enough.
Apart from that, I have been reading a manga called Reimei no Arcana. And it is so good! So, it's abot a red haired princess and this prince she gets married to in the beginning of the manga, and her best friend- but there is no love trinagle. So that's a good thing. This manga is a lot like Akatsuki no Yona and Akagami no Shirayukihima, it's probably a red hair protagonist thing. But my main problem is that it is not an anime yet. I really wish it was an anime, cause it would be such a good one. I feel like I have a thing for red headed anime girls, and white haired anime boys.
See you in hell,
Upa. 

How To Write An LGBT Poem

Dear Upa,
                So, sometimes, I write poems. Because I like writing poems. My poems aren't particularly great, but I've been writing poems ever since I was a kid and didn't really stop.
The other day when I was supposed to be studying and was going through tumblr instead, I found some poems about the LGBT(QIAP) Community that gave me goosebumps and was inspired to write my own. I am not a part of the Community, but I don't really think that matters.

"Ma"

“But what will ma say?”, she thinks.

What will she say when I tell her that her little girl sinks 

to her knees when she reaches her place 

where she she sees her face,

she recognises that body, those arms, that nose, 

but when she looks really close

something seems wrong, that she just doesn't belong.

I’ve been brought up in a world that loves to label,

a world that is able

to hate the very idea of what it doesn’t understand,

a land where everyone must fit 

the preconceived notion of “normal”, or quit,

A land where I am forced to call myself a “she”,

A land which can better tell me how to be me,

Where I am forced to use the wrong pronouns when I talk of love,

A land that talks of the God above 

Despite endorsing love but exerting hate,

A land where one can create

an endless number of ways to tell you to be yourself 

and tear you down for trying

A land which assumes that you are lying, and that “it’s just a phase”,

It’s not a phase, it’s not how I was raised, it’s nothing else you say,

Unfortunately, this is me, and I am reminded everyday 

of how unlucky I am to be me.

What will ma say when I tell her that her little girl

doesn’t dream of Prince Charming, 

That her disinterest in make up is alarming,

That her little girl isn’t even her little girl, she never was,

That it isn’t a loss, ma,

You can’t loose what you never had,

Please, ma, please don’t be mad

You said I’m the most beautiful girl of all time,

But then I started committing a crime

I tossed the dresses aside and replaced

them for something more practical, I disgraced

Your very idea of what a woman should be.

I am the burden that I have carried,

You know how you always thought about when I get married, 

to the man who will be my knight in shining armour,

and I’ll look beautiful, like a princess,

well guess what ma, I’m not a princess, never was, never will be,

You see there’s something different about me,

I am not the princess, I am the knight,

I am the armour, I am the fight.

I’ve lived in the closet for too long, ma,

The world doesn’t scare me anymore, I scare the world.

I’m stronger than ever now, even the closet was my Narinia,

I’m the best thing I could ever be: me.

I’m tired of living a lie, I can no longer flee,

Ma, I’m here to tell you something, standing here, undaunted,

For years, I wasn’t the daughter you always wanted,

I am the son you didn’t know you had.

And, you know what, ma? I am not sorry.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How to be Hungry

Dear Aditi,
   My exams are going on, which means that I have spent majority of my time staring at a green wall thinking about life, and it's existence.
But that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is our plan to live together. Now there are many reasons this is not possible, I know it. But wishful thinking. Also anything is better than studying Aristotle's theory of punishment. 
So, our house should have all matte black crockery, and possibly a black sofa. A lot of these will be black. I want a wall, for my projects, but that'll probably be in my own room though. The house will be filled with a lot of crap, like not garbage but random trinkets. I feel like have the fridge will be filled half with orange juice and half with iced tea. And a whole lot of Nutella. Okay, now I am hungry.
Besides that, pujo is happening as well. And I have given education a second seat to God. Maa Durga 4eva. I feel like that is going to offend some people. But I really like muglai porota, and fish fry. And I am hungry again.

Bi! 
Upa.

How To Be Vague

Dear Upa,
                We've messed up big time with the posting. We're both pretty bad at keeping track of days anyway in general so I guess it was bound to happen.

So living in Delhi is not that bad now that I have Buddy, but it's obviously slightly inconvenient. But you're coming here in 23 days!!!!!!!!!
That is so exciting. I am excited. It's going to be so much fun. Did I mention I'm excited?

So, recently I was in a situation where one of my best friends did something terrible and dishonest that hurt someone else. Not a first, I know, but this wasn't me that was hurt but some other person that I didn't know. And they felt really really bad about it. And I didn't know what I should do, should I console them or yell at them for being a terrible person. I did both. I couldn't help care about them. But instead of me consoling them, they were the one saying that it was one mistake and that they've suffered enough.

That vague crappy description aside, I wanted to say that I'm pissed. What sucks the most is when your own best friends turn out to be the ones that do all these terrible things, because I'm always left wondering why the hell I choose such people.

Yeah. Life is tough. I sent a message to the other person who was hurt by my friend, someone I have never met in my life, telling them to take care of themself and that it'll be okay. I hope that they're not stupid enough to trust my friend again. And I hope the same for me.

Being vague sucks.

Bye for now,
Aditi. 

How to Make a Movie

Dear Aditi,
  My exams are coming soon, which means that I get my best ideas around this time. And sadly also means I can't start working on it until my exams are over.
That's kind of a lie. I could start working on it, but when I have an excuse to not do it. I just don't. It's a horrible trait I have, and I want to get rid of it. But don't know how.
As mentioned, I get my best ideas during this time. One of the ideas being making a short film. Those artsy ones, which very few people watch. And even fewer like. And little to none of the people understand.  Those films that if you speak about you sound fancy and cultured. Now I am not fancy, nor am I cultured. But I do enjoy these stuff. And even more so because I am suppose to be studying. 
And I want to make one. But for that I will need a lot of thing. Firstly, a tripod. Secondly, an actor. Or maybe a camera person, then I could be an actor. But I am not good that acting. I mean I am fair enough, just not as good as I would like to be.
Maybe I will start working on being a better actor.
And cut scene!
Upa.

How to Move

Dear Upa,
                I've moved. 
Technically, I shifted to Delhi when I started school here in April, but back then it was like pulling through till the next checkpoint when I could come back to Mumbai. Now my dad and my dog are finally here, and that means that I've finally moved and I have no reason to come back. 
        Bringing Buddy to Delhi was fun. He was surprisingly well behaved and only terrorised a few of the railway staff. But I had forgotten how fun train journeys could be. Seeing Buddy adapt to the new surroundings was also kind of fun. I'm just so relieved I don't have to leave him again. He's so happy, and I think he doesn't really care all that much where he is as long as he is with his family. 
        The funny thing about moving is that no matter how many times you do it, it doesn't get any easier. I wouldn't say I'm exactly sad or upset, I just feel strange. All of a sudden I just don't live in the house I called home for so many years, and even when I come to Mumbai, I won't go back there. I didn't really have a theatrical moment where I looked back at the house and smiled at all the memories I had there and reminisced about the past. The only memorable moment was when my sister and I stood infront of the cupboard and I said, "Hey, remember when I tied up the doors of these cupboards together? So you wouldn't be able to look in the mirror and get distracted and could study for your exam?" And she laughed and said "Yeah".
And that was it. An awkward, abrupt goodbye, with me wondering what I should be feeling. I guess when it comes to stuff like this, there never really is a right moment to say goodbye. 

Bye for now,
Aditi. 

How to make friends

Dear Aditi, 
   I am socially awkward. But I am not really shy. I am a mistake and I just continue on not giving a damn. This is the usually process of how I make friends.
And because of my shameless weirdness, I end up being friends with the strange people. Not one of the people I like are normal. I know only a handful of 'normal' people; but I usually end up calling them boring. And being boring kinda sucks.
I have realised I cannot hold conversation with normal people because my conversation starters are usually the weirdest things. Like animal facts. I really love animal facts. I really love animal facts. And talking about weird things I have read on tumblr. Or incidents that happen to me on public transport. And there are so many. 
People in Mumbai are very... strange. Sometimes in a good way. Sometimes in a scary way. Sometimes both.
Tata,
Upa.