How to Get Smarty-Poisoning

Dear Upa,
                I think I finished two tubes of Smarties in two days. I told you, I'm going to die of Smarty-poisoning.

Being away was so much fun.

Okay, yeah, I missed a week of extra classes. I like to pretend that that doesn't make me want to curl up into a ball and scream for 4 hours because of the stress, and focus instead on what a great time I had, because I really did have a great time.

After over 4 years of practically obsessing over Dan and Phil I got to go to their hometown, and it felt cool. Obviously at the moment they're on tour in the USA so I didn't have that "oh-my-god-I'm-breathing-the-same-air-they-are" moment, but I did roam around in places I remember seeing through their vlogs and I just felt closer to them. I got to momentarily ignore all study-related things, which was great. The Harry Potter tour almost made me cry (like five times) and I've consumed so much hot chocolate that I'm pretty sure my blood has been replaced with it now.

But now, I'm back to having a ridiculous amount of work to do and not really doing any of it. It feels familiar, but it doesn't feel pleasant. So I'll continue stuffing my face with Smarties and complaining about problems that I already know the solution to, but that doesn't mean I'll solve them.

Honestly, why am I like this? ( ≧Д≦)

Bye for now,
Aditi.

How to be Jealous

Dear Aditi,
  My mother is coming back tomorrow. I have spent 23 days away from my mother. And I do miss her, a lot, but surprisingly not as much as I thought I would miss her.
I mean, when she is usually gone for a day or two I miss her far more than when right now. Probably because I spent the first 13 days away with you. And you, my friend, are a welcome distraction. So, it didn't effect me as much as it would have otherwise.
Unfortunately, she couldn't find anything BTS related in Thailand to get for me, or probably she just doesn't know what to look for and I don't blame her. It is hard to find something if you don't know what you are looking for. I am getting my seaweed pringles that I was promised though. Which is like a combination of two foods that I really like together.
I have found a new favorite food. Dahi. Doi. Yogurt. Curd. Whatever you call it. It's really good. I mean I always knew it wqs good, but like it's actually really good. My brother is the reason for it. He tells me he is saving my life, one dahi handi at a time. Or something along those lines I am not really sure what he says. Usually just filter through the stuff he talks.
You're having fun. I j hope you are. I really want you to be having fun. Because you are on vacation and so are BTS. And I know we always find similarities between us and them, so there is another one. And you are closer to them by distance and you have ever been before. So, needless to say but I am jealous. It's very rude of you to leave me behind.
I don't know how to end this.
Kay.
Bi.
Upa.

How to Be Me

Dear Upa,

                It’s weird without you.

I’m not even saying it to be sentimental and stuff, I genuinely mean it. I mean, usually, people have to get used to living with someone, but it just felt so normal having you around. It didn’t feel like a vacation- I still went to school, still avoided homework, still attended classes- instead, it felt like my normal life, but better. I always had something to look forward to after school and if something mildly interesting happened at school, I found myself reminding myself to tell you about it .

It’s not like we did anything that special. We went to Innisfree a worrying amount of times and went out of our way to associate with Korean things and went to the dog cafe and shopped and ate, basically everything I do on a regular basis anyway, but we did it together. I don’t know anyone else with whom I can just be me and pass it off so easily as having a good time. But above everything, what I enjoyed the most was sitting at home and watching the Korean drama. The most domestic of all things.

I don’t know what the point of this blog post is. It’s just something I realised.

I like being me, but you make being me even better.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How to Avoid Feelings

Dear Aditi, 

   It’s hard being back. It was hard the first time, and it is even worse now. I went from always being around someone, whether it was Buddy stealing my place or Mashi talking about- not really sure what she talks about to be honest- or whether it’s you. I am now in a practically empty house, with no one to talk to like I did and it hurts. It really does. 

I don’t even know if I am allowed to complain about it to begin with, because I am so grateful that I could come for 13 days. 13 days is a lot of days. I normal person could grow plant. Okay, maybe not a plant. But a lot can happen in 13 days and yet it passed so fast. Our friends came and went. We went to innisfree enough for them to recognise us. We watched a whole drama. I really good drama.

But here is the thing, as much as I hurt right now, in time I will revert back to my home adapted self of having three boiled eggs for breakfast. Today, there weren’t any boiled eggs in the fridge so I was sad, but then the maid had cooked a few eggs for me and left them in the microwave for me. So I ate boiled eggs. I didn’t only eat boiled eggs, I also had toast. Although I could have done without the toast. 

I could write about all the reasons I miss you, and those little things that you notice then you live with a person but, in true Upasana fashion instead of actually addressing that I will avoid the situation and talk about my egg problem or just sleep. Sleeping is really nice, and I truly think you should spend more time sleeping. 

I miss you, 

Upa. 

P.S- In case you are feeling really sad.