How to Like Change

Dear Upa,

                Sorry I'm late. I don't have a good enough excuse. Basically, I forgot about all my work and then conveniently remembered about it on Sunday night and did it frantically in the course of the next 4 hours. Fun weekends. 

Anyway, I'm so freaking excited about our YouTube channel (#spon). Not only because of all the love and support we're getting from the people we know,  but because it's driving us to do things we haven't before. It's making me think differently. And it's already pushing me out of my comfort zone and making me do things I would have never imagined I was capable of doing. 

It's only been a bit more than a week and I'm not even sure what I can do. Maybe I can cook. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I make great lemonade. 

..Wow this went in a completely different direction lol

What I'm saying is, maybe I feel the same. Change is good sometimes. 

Bye for now,

Aditi. 

How to Try Something New

Dear Aditi, 
   I love trying new things. I am almost always up for a change, as long as I know that I have a way to come back to normal if I want. I wouldn't call it risk. I don't like taking a risk. There is a problem of trying new things all the time though, it is hard. 
It's like a fish out of water situation, and then I get comfortable. And then I crave change. (Except like if I were actually a fish out of water, I'd be dead.) It is a bloody stupid cycle of wanting change. 
I am not an adventurous person. I will still religiously scroll through Tumblr and YouTube. I just can't be content for long. It's just dumb, but I always find ways to find new things- so I am quite happy right now. 
So the reason I started writing this is because I was vlogging, and it was quite new for me to talk to a camera. I have watched it a million times but actually doing it alone is so weird. I like it though, and now I have to edit it and try to find some content between all the shit I spout. 
Bii!!!!!!
Upa, 

How To Feel At Home

Dear Upa, 

                 Have you ever witnessed a moment which seems like it should belong in a movie? A moment which feels like it should be accompanied with theatrical background music and dramatic camera angles. A moment so strangely random, yet so strangely special, that you’re confused over why it means so much but know that it is significant. A moment which, for an instant, feels like more than just a moment. Because I have.

It was when, after an extremely turbulent and delayed journey because of a thunderstrom, I saw the clouds part and the Mumbai emerge from the greyness. The city, sprawled out beneath me,was beautiful. Every skyscraper was reduced to a beam of light, and the roads were gleaming trails of red and yellow lights. The whole city was illuminated, and I’m pretty sure at that moment no one could convince me that it wasn’t the most beautiful city in the world. All my annoyance and exhaustion instantly melted away and I was only filled with happiness.

Conventionally speaking, Mumbai definitely doesn’t top the list of the most beautiful cities in the world. It’s crowded and quite messy, and don’t even get me started on the noise.It’s beauty is unconventional. You won’t notice it until you really notice it, you won’t realise how much the sea, that you happen to look at everyday means till you just don’t look at it everyday. You won’t realise how beautiful the well worn streets are till you have to. It’s beauty lies in the fact that it’s different.

At that moment, looking at it made me so happy because I knew my dog and my dad were down there somewhere, and my friends who I hadn’t seen in AGES. It was beautiful because most of the people I love the most were down there.It was beautiful because it was home.

Meeting you guys again felt so amazing, it was bizarre. If I had to choose between north Mumbai and south Mumbai, I would choose wherever the hell you are, because that epiphany made me realise that I feel happiest when I am home, and my home is the people I love.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

 [Also, we started a YouTube channel with two of our friends, which is great and we should totally give ourselves a promo: click here ].

How to Live in a City

Dear Aditi,
   Why did we decide to name it 'A Tale of Two States.' You live in a big city. I live in in a big city. Both being the biggest cities in our country. 
I do understand that they are different states, but they are cities before the state. And I know that a very good novel is named that, a very good novel which I have yet to read. And don't get me wrong, I do love the name. I probably wouldn't change the name, but that doesn't not make it a very dumb name.
I think I started writing this because it is only recently that realised how fucking big the city is. My whole life I have only been sheltered in Bandra to Santacruz. Anything what of that, I had to be with those parents.  But now I travel everywhere alone, and it is now that the stark difference between the north and the south has really shown itself. I would like to think that I am a mixture of the two, and that may be right. But if I were to chose between the north and south of the Mumbai, I would choose Delhi. Cause that's where you're at.
Welcome back for now,
Upa.

How To Make Things Move Fast

Dear Upa,

                

                 Nothing of great consequence has happened recently. It’s been one of those weeks where a lot happens, but nothing happens.

 Last week has been fun. Things have moved fast. I re-watched Lion King (still gives me goosebumps everytime). I finished Game Of Thrones. I am actually not hating trigonometry, which is my least favourite part of maths. I wrote tests. I went for physiotherapy. I took part in a competition in Maths. I played with puppies. And I’m coming to Mumbai in 6 days.

Yes, being busy is great. I kind of curl up into a worthless ball despair if I have absolutely no work to do, because everyone around me is very busy and I’m just wasting my life. After all, what responsibilities will I shirk to procrastinate if I have no responsibilities at all?

As for travelling, I’m very annoyed. Yeah, alright, I don’t have to deal with being in close proximity with huge crowds of people, but I almost never reach my CLAT classes on time. Either I’m too early or too late, because the traffic here is so unpredictable and if it rains then it takes me twenty minutes extra to reach. But it really could be worse. 

As I said, things have moved fast. It’s been nearly 40 days since I last saw you, and I am so excited to see you again. And the rest of my friends. And Buddy. And my dad. 

Things are not moving nearly fast enough.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How to Hate Trains

Dear Aditi,

   I have a very busy life. And I like it. I like the way my mind does not really have any time to while away, and I have to get shit done. I am having a perfect balance of busy but not too busy. I don’t think this will last very long, but I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.

The thing about being busy is that there is a lot of travelling. And since I am a college student, and saving money is my number one priority- I have to travel by trains. And that isn’t a fun experience.
Trains aren’t bad, sometimes. But most of the time, they are like a… very crowded place.

I have physically been closer to some random strangers than I have with my friends. And I don’t want that. I don’t want to know that a girl name Zena has a date in Theobroma with a guy ‘too good for her.’ (It is hard not to overhear conversations when they are practically being spoken in your ear. ) But go Zena!These aren’t the people I want to be close to. The people I want to be close to is you. But you are only 238 hours away, walking.

I’ll come walking, soon.

Upa.  

How To Be Abnormal

Dear Upa,

                 This week, I have relatives staying over at my house. It was supposed to be a one day thing, but as you know, one of my cousin granddads suddenly started experiencing breathing problems and had to be rushed to the hospital. And this was shortly after my maid ALSO experienced breathing problems and had to be rushed to the hospital. It was quite scary. My maid is fine, though my granddad had to be admitted. He’s home now though, just not in a condition to travel. So they have been living with us. Because of my cousin granddad’s sickness, the house has been fuller of relatives than it has ever been before. They are absolutely amazing people, don’t get me wrong, but I guess I just forgot how it was to have so many people in the house. 

              What I’m saying is that I forgot how abnormal I am. And how different people can be. If you think about it, there are actually people out there that don’t have their lives consumed by a single fandom. It doesn’t help having people judge my extremely retarded sleeping pattern and the fact that I rarely leave my room when I’m home. And I swear to god they’ve asked me why I won’t have rice for lunch or dinner at least a hundred times, the lack of rice in my diet has left them absolutely scandalised. 

                 But they’re nice, and it’s fun. I do love sitting in the dark alone for ages in front of my laptop, but having people around is not the worst thing in the world. Inconvenient, yes, but I can live with it. I blame you though, because it’s your fault I’m so used to being around people who are as abnormal as me. Can’t wait to see you again! 

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How to Not Have a Point

Dear Aditi,
   I am proud of you. You are a good person. I wish I was a good person. But I am not.
I mean, I am too in love with myself to change anything about myself for others. But I see others around me do it, and it is hilarious. Because they try so hard to be someone they are not that they end up making a fool of themselves.
I admire people who can be true to themselves. A few days ago, I met a guy in the train. He was a trans male, and decided to be in the ladies compartment- because he could pass of as a woman and it was practically empty.
He was a very cool person, who liked Alt-J.(that is a music band, for anyone who doesn't know.) So I like him. He was also hot, but that isn't the point. Actually, what is the point.
I love you. I love myself. I love people who aren't afraid to be who they are. I love Alt-J.
With Love,
Upa.

How Not To Make Friends

Dear Upa,

                Your post is way too relatable. I love YouTube. Other than the fact that you know, it has great video technology and can stream the most obscure, wonderful things in HD in the matter of a second (if your internet connection is good, that is), I also love how it connects people. Any one can just share a video of them eating cereal (looking at you, Charlieissocoollike) and someone across the world can watch it. It’s literally impossible to feel lonely. 

For example, one of our friends (the one you refer to as Evad) and I were talking on the phone, and he said that going to Delhi is good for me in the way that I have less distractions and can study, which is true, but then he waited a moment and said, “But then again, you have Dan and Phil wherever you go.”

And that’s true. I hate being lonely, I really do. I’m terrified of feeling alone, which is probably the biggest problem I faced when I shifted to Delhi initially (that and the moment I realised that Delhi won’t have Bombay Blues). So basically, I’m afraid of talking to new people, but I’m also afraid of having no one to talk to. I am an extremely flawed human being, as you may have realised. But Dan and Phil coupled with talking to you and the others made me feel not alone. The most important people in my life still made me happy. And that is brilliant.

Speaking of being alone, I learned something about myself. Two things, actually. Even though I hate being alone more than most things, I still won’t go out of my way to fit in. In my second CLAT class, we had to write a mock test which was really hard because we hadn’t learned anything yet, it was only so we could know where we stand. Most people hadn’t made friends yet, but they bonded over the next two hours exchanging answers and googling them and stuff. But I refused to join in or cheat. I realised doing what I think is morally right is more important to me than fitting in or getting marks in a test, and not fitting in TERRIFIES me. This could be a good thing or a bad thing. You could say that I’m no fun, which is probably true, but I think it’s a good thing. I’m proud of myself.

The second thing I learned is that my General Knowledge is horrible because I knew like one answer lol

I miss you so much.

Bye for now,

Aditi.