How To Be Ordinary

Dear Upa,

                 I want it to matter.

I want a life that’s exciting, a life that fills my pockets with memories so much so that I can’t stuff anymore into them, and I want to be able to look back at my life when I am a 100 years old and be able to think, “Ah, yes, that was satisfactory”.

And by wanting a life that sets me apart, I prove that in reality, I am absolutely ordinary. There is nothing special about wanting to be special. It’s something that we all want, whether we’ve realised it already or are yet to-at the end of the day, all we want is to believe that our life is special, like some protagonist of a YA fiction novel. We’re all the same, we’re all ordinary.

I spent the last couple of days at vacation with my family, and ended it with a 20 hour visit to Mumbai to meet my favourite people in the world (you guys). It was the first vacation my family took together after an entire year and a half, and so much has changed in that year and a half that the vacation was long overdue. We didn’t really do anything special, but it was fun. God, it was so much fun. The 20 hour visit to Mumbai, though, made me a lot more emotional. Just the fact that so many people came together to meet me, or that I saw one of our friend’s face after 4 whole months, or that I was suddenly able to hug you, or that I was literally there so suddenly, made me feel like it was a dream.

And as I lie alone in my room in Delhi for the first time in 120 hours, loaded with late birthday gifts and cards that are literally the best things ever and a pocket full of memories that I made with my family and friends, I realise that I am one pocket closer to being absolutely ordinary. 

But when I remember the happiness I felt from being around my favourite people in the world, I think to myself, maybe being ordinary isn't a bad thing after all. 

Honestly? Being ordinary is great.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How I started playing Neko Atsume

Dear Aditi,
   Today, the title of the post is actually related to the post itself. Well sorta. As close to related it will get with me. So, as you know I am kind of obsessed with this game Neko Atsume. It let's me feel some sort of accomplishment without really doing anything. And that is what we all want, right? Plus, the game itself it cute af and makes you want to you inhuman noises.
Now, to the point. I started playing this game because of a fanfiction I read. It is a miraculous ladybug fanfiction, about the two main characters getting close to eachother through this game, talking about the virtual cats they have. While reading it, I did have the thought that such cute things never happen in real life. That was until it happened in real life. I was nicely chilling in design class, and this other girl, Alia, started playing it in class and I heard the music. And instantly we started talking about the amount of cats we have and what we named them. She doesn't rename her cats, which sort of seems weird to me because who wouldn't want cats named 'squishy bun bun', '3 dollars', moon moon', and 'Aditi.' Personally I think she is missing out. So, I named a cat after her. Alia. Which is actually a half decent cat name, but really my cat naming standards aren't that high.
Anyway, I got into watching Miraculous Ladybug for 2 reason, one my dear friend asked me to. And second, because my tumblr dash had got clogged with gifs of these two very beautiful characters- and I just had to know what all the hype is about. And it stands up to all the praise it has got.
The point I was trying to make is that, fandoms bring more fandoms. It's only deep rabbit hole, that once you jump into is a whole new world filled with wonder and delight. But while you are there you kind of forget your responsibilities and stay up till 5am and then you aren't able to go to college. I have a problem. But I don't want a solution.
ILY,
Upa.

How (Not) To Change

Dear Upa,

         This year, something other than just the date has changed.

I am not sure why, and I am not sure how long this will last, but I’ve been taking more opportunities the past couple of days. A lot of social situations make me anxious, and I am very shy and awkward, but for some reason I have low-key been telling myself that certain opportunities may not come again and I’ll probably regret not doing anything while I still have the chance.

It’s not just happened once, it’s happened quite a few times this year already, and I feel like it’s a great change. Maybe I’ll get a little more comfortable when I am surrounded by a lot of people. Let’s J-hope.

In other news, this odd-even car thing in the city is kind of annoying. It’s a very odd scheme, and I can’t even do anything about it. 

(HAHAHAH GET IT?) 

My sleeping schedule is now non-existent. Also, exams are kind of over (the orals and other annoying things are on currently) and I’ve already attended school everyday for a whole week and a half, which I think is the most number of days in a row in a long time now. Also since exams are over and I have no motivation to waste time, I am back to whiling away the time during the day and then completing my work during the night. I think my Geography sir lost my notebook and I was actually really glad because that means I don’t have to complete it, because my notebook is horrifyingly incomplete. I am really weird. And I love it. 

I guess some things never change.

Bye for now,

Aditi.

How to be Sick

Dear Aditi,
   I think I might be sick. But it is the lowkey from of being sick, where I am able to do everything properly but I just to it very lethargically. So, it isn't really being sick enough to give up, not get out of bed and have soup. Though, I do really want soup.
I attended a yoga class this morning. I was bored to death because I already knew all the shit she was spouting. I also really hate that teacher because she is no Smita Miss. Our school yoga teacher, she was- she is- special. Even though for a dance she made me a butterfly and you a mountain. She holds a very special place in my mind, and she is in the small list of teachers I respect.
Funny thing about being a butterfly. They give feel so many feels. It is my BTS trash showing. But still. While I was writing this my album finally arrived, and I am a very happy trash. It is just so beautiful, that I cry.
I am happy.
Upa. 

How to Know

Dear Upa,

                 It's a new year. 

How did that happen? I feel like I've said way too many times already about how fast things have changed and how much has changed but I don't blame myself, because it really was a lot of change. 

But now it's a new year. I've never really had New Years resolutions before because I knew that I'd never follow them, but this year I do have two. They are to A) Study hard in 12th grade, and B) Learn Korean. 

There. I've said it. It's set in stone. I have to do it now. 

I feel like this year my trash level found whole new potential. I remember pretty much breathing Phan last to last year but convincing myself that, "oh no, I don't think of myself as their fan, I think of them as my friends". That's kind of hilarious. But this year, I am more self aware. That's a good thing, right?

I am just glad I got to be with you and eat Korean food before the year ended. Also the secret Santa gifts. I gave you a tshirt with your face on it AND a BTS reference. How did you manage to top that? I AM NEVER GETTING OVER MAKO CHAN. 

A year has passed, and I am still studying for an exam, still procrastinating horrifyingly, and am still trash. 2016 can't be that bad. 

May the odds be ever in your favour. 

May the force be with you. 

We're going to have a great year. 

And how do I know that? It's just...

I know. 

Bye for now, 

Aditi.