how to asdkghjkk

Dear Aditi,

We got Dan and Phil tickets today. Holy shit. What. It's been a couple of hours and it still doesn't feel real. It's like a lucid dream I don't want to wake up from.

We get to talk to them. Like legit talk to them. What. Wait what. Ha. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaha. I am still in shock. I don't think I will ever come to terms with it.

I don't think I have ever felt that much joy over something materialistic in forever. That much joy in general also, I guess.

A part of me is also a bit scared. But it's about the dumbest of things. Like what will I wear. And will I look stupid. And how short I will be. I will be so short oh my god. And aqua pallu is with us and she is 2 cool 4 skool.

But then an even bigger part of me is like haha hahahahahahahhahahahahaha haha dan and Phil. Daniel and phillie. ma tol noodle Bois. My dads who shaped a significant part of my personality. My sons who need to be protected. Oh god these are too many emotions I will die.

I'm going to move on to other topics, BC my heart. I went on a date with god. it wasn't rlly a date that is a complete lie. but we did drink over pizza and got slightly tipsy and then visited an art gallery and she let me rant about the artistic integrity of the painting. so an ideal date. it's the sort of date you write fanfics about. And told vaish about my date too. she also went out on a date which is not rlly a date. she knows everything i feel and completely excepts me. how did i get that lucky. i think i am pretty darn lucky to find good people. like vaish, who legit thought dan and Phil are boyfriends. I mean so does the phandom but she isn't in the phandom so it's different.

also front row seats. WHAAAATTTTT.

Love,
Upa.

how to be a cat

Dear Upa,

Recently, I’ve not been doing a very good job of not letting life overwhelm me. I wake up in a state of panic and I fall asleep in a state of panic (that is when I actually sleep and not sustain myself on naps), and the part in the middle just goes by in a blur of me trying to catch up with the things around me. People say I should make a list of things I need to get done to calm myself down, but honestly the idea of reiterating everything I have yet to do is terrifying. I just talk to Vandu or listen to a soothing video of Dan saying motivational stuff to calm down, and even if it’s temporary, it works like a charm. I realised today that the only thing I can say to comfort myself at this point is that it really just gets worse from here, so I shouldn't give up just yet.

But now I’m going to talk about things that have distracted me from feeling like actual mush. 

I got kittens. Two of them. They’re so soft and so fluffy and they’re inseparable, it’s adorable. The first day they were here all three of us were sizing each other up, because I don’t know if it’s obvious, but I have much more experience with dogs than I do with cats. Dogs are so easy, but you can never know what a cat is thinking. I assumed I should give them space, which seemed doable in theory but in reality proved to be impossible because of how FLUFFY they are, how am I not supposed to squish them? 

Vandu told me to treat them how I would expect someone to treat me, because it’s not all that different, and I realised that holy shit, she’s right. I thought I was more of a dog than a cat, but I realised that I’m definitely more of a cat. 

When I asked my sister which she thought she was more like, she said cat. When I pointed out that most people I know would actually be cats for some reason, she said that it’s because very few people are good enough at heart to be dogs. She’s right. 

I think Vandu would be a dog. 

Bye for now,

Aditi.