How to Sleep

Dear Aditi,

A year ago I had a lot of work. And I didn't do it.

Now, I have a lot of work. And I still don't do it.

This is kind of a recurring theme in my life, of not doing things until they are absolutely important. Or I need to impress a teacher. I really like impressing teachers. It's become a hobby of sorts. And smiling at them. Anyway, back to what I am crying about today.

I slept for 12 hours. And this is not after pulling off an all nighter or completing some huge project. No, this is after sleeping 12 hours the night before. And I still feel sleepy. It's quite problematic.

So, I did the first thing anyone does in the situation and googled it. WebMD is a terrible site, not because it's unhelpful or anything but because it will tell you you have some incurable problem or something. I really hope I don't have an incurable problem.

Then I read somewhere else that people tend to sleep a lot when they have nothing to work for. Well, that doesn't apply to me either. I have plenty I am supposed to work for. But nothing I really really want to do.

I feel like a potato who just wants to cry about BTS all day.

Guess it's time to change that.

Tu me manques beaucoup.

i miss you

upa.

How Not To Be Confused

Dear Upa,

Almost exactly a year ago, the post I had written was about me going back to Delhi after spending a month and a half of vacation in Mumbai, and about how I was kinda sorta excited for some reason. 

About how half of 2015 was over, about how that was completely crazy, and about how I wondered what the second half of 2015 had in store for me. 

And now, almost exactly a year later, I'm back from a ten day vacation in Mumbai, and I honestly don't have the time to be excited about the future. 

Half of 2016 is over, which means half of it is left, which means in less than a year I have to write my boards, which means I need to get my shit together and actually work hard for once in my life. 

Who knows? I mean, the afore-mentioned second half of 2015 literally changed my life (read: BTS, K-Pop, BTS, new friends, BTS, Kim Seokjin, BTS). Maybe the second half of this year, I'll actually stick to my plan (plot twist).

Almost exactly a year ago, you had written a post about how you want things, and I can relate to that right now. 

I have a goal. For the first time in a long time, I know where I want to end up, at least for now. For the first time in a long time, I know, and I want. I really, really want. 

So I'm going to work for it. I hope promise. Whatever it takes. 

Almost exactly a year ago, I had written a post about how time flies when you're having fun. 

Well, shit. This is going to be a long year. 

Bye for now,

Aditi. 

How to get Money

Dear Aditi,
  You know that point where your parents just get so fed up with you they need to start lecturing you. Yeah, my parents did that. Just one month late.
So now I have heard how I spend more than I earn but I earn zero rupees so with that logic I can spend zero rupees. Scrap all this becoming a designer now, I should just live like a sanyasi. You can be the tantrik, I'll be the sanyasi. It's a good plan. We won't be rich but we will have swag. And that's all that matters really.
Even though my parents spent most of every car journey lecturing me, my dad still gave my money so like good. I like the fact my dad doesn't really remember what he lectures me about or choses to forget and that is quite hilarious. But after almost a month of being poor, I really want money. Like not even to spend, just to know that I can spend if I want to.
Money is hard.
Parents are harder.
If there was some lesson you were expecting to get out of me, sorry I have none.
Upa.

How to Learn

Dear Upa,
                 In the last week, I learned things.

I learned that it's important to cherish people who care about you, because being cared about is one of the best feelings there is.

I learned that being pessimistic and being realistic are not the same thing, things can sometimes surprise you.

I learned that talking to people, be it in real life or on the internet, is not as hard as it seems at first.

I learned that writing makes me happy, but the feeling when it makes other people happy as well is indescribable.

I learned that finishing work on time is probably a good idea.

Oh, and I learned already knew that Hershey's Kisses make me happier than most things in life.

It's been an interesting week, even though I spent most of it at home.

I learned that learning is fun when it's not an history assignment.

Bye for now,
Aditi.

How to forget the Day

Dear Aditi,
   Today is Friday. I don't know how to bexame Friday cause it feels like just yesterday it was Sunday. I can't keep track of dates and time anymore.
Anyway, my life is going on as it is and absolutely nothing interesting is happening. Which kinda sucks. I want to do more things but I am out of money and my mother hasn't exactly been happy to give me some cause I have a spending problem. And she is right. I do spend money like an insane person, so I want to try and save now. Maybe I should keep a piggybank. But I know in the process pf buying a piggybank I'll spend more money on that than I can save. It's a really difficult life, but I guess that's what being an adult is. Well almost an adult.
Sometimes it dawns on me that we are getting older. And then I shove those feelings aside and continue mindlessly scrolling through tumblr. That's my life and I don't hate it but I also don't know where it will lead me.
Bye.
Upa.