How I "Deal" With A Crisis

Dear Upa,

                 Thank you for your advice. It was a huge help on the next day and made me relax a bit because as you know, facing new people, for me, is absolutely terrifying. It made me feel a lot better.

Recently, I’ve been experiencing something that is known as, in Danisnotonfire’s eloquent words, an ‘existential crisis’. And although this isn’t the general quarter-life crisis that we are so well acquainted with because of his videos, it definitely is a downward spiral of horror at the inevitability of life and death and occasionally questioning my existence. 

I think it started when it sunk in that I had to move away. It made me think about the amount of memories I’ve made in school and outside of it, the amount we’ve enjoyed together and the fun memories we’ve cherished, and I realised just how pointless all that really was. 

Those “fun times” are just memories. They are all over and they will never come again. Right now, as I type this, time is slipping away, and the moment I typed the previous alphabet is already a thing of the past that I will never be able to relive. It makes everything seem so insignificant. Honestly, I’m scared because most of the memories we’ve shared will be forgotten one day and I don’t want that. I want to remember and I want everything to matter, because otherwise what is the point of doing anything at all?

If you hadn’t guessed by now, yeah, it’s pretty bad. But I know exactly what kind of a response you would have to this. It would be something motivating with a tinge of something realistic and hard-hitting. How I plan to deal with this is to make sure I have something to look forward to and to concentrate on the right now, before right now becomes a back then. 

Anyway, needless to say, I’m a mess. But that’s okay. I miss you, and to be honest I cannot WAIT to make more memories that cause me to cringe with dissatisfaction in the future at how less everything matters. Love you!

Bye for now,

Aditi.