How to Miss You

Dear Aditi, 

   I miss you. A lot. Like when I want to say something funny that I read on tumblr, and pick my head up only to realise you are not here. I am not in Delhi, I am not with you. While I was with you, I called my mother  total of 2 times and my father 3 times, of which 2 calls were me asking for money. I am not a family person. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. They are crazy and mad, but fun. But, coming back home, I realised that I had wholeheartedly excepted your home as mine. And your family’s weirdness as normality. They are very funny, don’t be embarrassed. Your familyy is kind of epic. And I mean, you did throw your hairbrush in the dustbin. And when I asked you if you were drunk, you replied with just saying “Aloo.” 

Then again, I managed to get my chopsticks stuck behind your bed. And managed to remove the covers everytime I slept on your very comfortable bed. I also couldn’t open the bathroom door, and just stood in front of it whining. The door wasn’t even locked. I think I fit well in. 

Like on Monday, it was my first day in college. And the girl I had been crushing on- keyword HAD- we were talking. It was just so much easier to talk to her without the pressure for her to like me back. Conversation went smoothly, well as smooth as it goes for me. I realised she is not some sort of perfect human, she is very normal. A good normal, like enough abnormal to keep up conversation with me but normal enough to be… you know what, she is very abnormal. Complete weirdo. Anyway, I dressed well for the first day back to college and got a few compliments for it. Which honestly I don’t know how to accept properly, but I do really appreciate.

And I got locked out of my house, again. This is the third time since college started. Now I just chill outside the door, which is close enough to get wifi. So I was just mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, crying about various stuff. I cry about a lot of stuff not directly related to my life. 

When BTS’ comeback trailer came out, I kind of lost it. I was suppose to be completing my school project, but obviously that didn’t happen and instead I just rewatched RUN! BTS. And the funny part is, I am not even sorry. I feel like I should be, but i got no jams. Thankfully, the teacher didn’t take the project today and I am not the only lazy one in class. 

I was talking to a couple of friends at college, and it hit me. I am not really myself talking to them. Not saying I am not being myself, but I am not my truest self. I realised I am mostly that person, the person I am really happy around being myself, is you. 

See you soon. 

Upa.