How to Fly

fly (flī)

verb

To rise in or be carried through the air by the wind

Dear Upa,

                 Okay, aside from the fact that 2016 was like 10 minutes long, I think (contrary to what literally everyone says) it was actually a pretty good year.

I remember facing an existential crisis last year because suddenly everything around me changed. This year, though, I think the same amount changed, except that now it’s within me.

This year, I fell both more in love and in hate with myself.

It wasn’t a very pretty year, and everyone including me was practically having a meltdown (I wonder why no one else liked this year) but still, I learned so much about myself. I think I know exactly the kind of person I am now, and even though I’m not sure I love her, I think I’m finally starting to understand her, and that’s a start.

I remember worrying about getting my shit together and actually achieving something in life last year. To be honest my shit is, in fact, still the furthest thing from being ‘together’, but I know that I’m working towards it. And for now, I think it’ll suffice.

I remember being socially awkward last year. Unsurprisingly, I’m still socially awkward, but I’m not too awkward to initiate hugs anymore. I’m beginning to realise that sometimes I need to depend on other people and sometimes I’m not strong enough to handle things by myself, and even more importantly, I'm beginning to realise that that’s alright.

I remember having two new years’ resolutions last year: 1)Study hard in 12th grade; and 2)Learn Korean. 

As far as the latter goes, I didn’t really achieve it. I’m not even close to beginning to achieve it. Maybe next year? 

And the first, well, regardless of the result I did work hard. Not hard enough, but one day (hopefully soon) I’ll get there.

I remember being a little scared of being 17. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like I did grow up a lot this year or because I’m mentally an 8 year old anyway so it doesn’t matter, but in around 3 days I turn 18, and I’m not scared anymore.

2016 was so important. There’s so much left to achieve, and that excites me.

Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 as well.

Merry Christmas.

Bye for now,

Aditi.