how to be adult

dear aditi, 

i turned 18 last week

that was pretty dope and by that i mean my birthday itself was fun. its a day to celebrate my existence how can i not have fun my ego got a boost which is nice. 

now to the actual turning into an adult part its the same, i mean i havent gained any magical powers and got any wisdom and im still immature af where i laugh anytime someone says D 

the only thing adult about me is my worrying alcoholism, which if im being honest its not like i drink that much or that i do it in a harmful way its just that im so calm drinking like where is that phase where i go like oh my god alcohol and start acting drunk after a sip and doing shit i will evidently regret l8er idk but i haven't had that phase the most i have done drunk is like feel hot. the temperature wise hot, i feel the other hot too sometimes but thats not the point. 

i honestly wish i could write some deep philosophical crap directed to my future self of how much i have grown and how much more i still have left but i have a strong feeling thats just not me. im not a deep person and half the stuff that come out of my mouth are either trash or memes and im still too scared to approach my feelings head on. i have never liked coffee and still havent developed the taste for it. honestly i have the taste buds of a 5 year old. but i still eat a lot of weird shit according to my family like octopus and raw fish. although it doesnt seem that weird to me just tasty. 

anyway broski now that I'm supposedly an adult i need to do things like finally get a debit card which doesn't have kids jumping on it and probably get a license to drive a car and then not drive because driving seems like too much effort there is also like giving my board exams and not treating it like dinner graduating also seems quite important lol 

i also found out that people actually care about me???? like more than i thought i mean dont get me wrong i always knew people care but its just i dont voice myself enough so i dont expect people to know what i want and they still do and im like wow (note- these people r not my parents my parents are still v confused on how to raise children and they've brought up two of them) 

now on to important things 

u trusted me with life on my birthday, and the cactus hasn't died yet but its only been like 5 days but still. im naming it ‘xoxo’ just to mess with me and the lucky bastard gets to be in my bts shrine facing namjoon, jin and hobi so like lucky cactus. my mom legit asked mr. maali how to take care of it and he tried to assure her that its not that hard to take care of but honestly both of us aren't that convinced 

love, 

upa