How to try and live

Dear Aditi,

I haven't written in a while. Usually it's cause I forget or life is too busy, but even though life has been busy I didn't want to write a letter.

I just didn't.

But now I have something to talk about, and also you reminded me it's been like 2 weeks. So here I am.

Honestly I kinda realised my life is not as mundane as I think it is. It also isn't as sad as I feel it is. I mean I am getting educated in a university some (quite few) dream of going to. And I get to eat whatever I want. I'm not failing anything. I have people around me who love me for the mess I am. And it's good. It's really good.

Just the other day, a acquaintance (I use the term loosely) called me a bitch for not doing her part of a group project. And you should have seen Nee and Vaish. They were ready to fight. Like literally fight her. And the fact is they aren't the only ones. I have so many people around me. Including you, and I am grateful.

It is still annoyingly difficult to be content when you work your ass off and someone takes it from you only because of their name. And I shouldn't be okay with that. I'm not. I want to fight, but I know that will only make things worse. So for now I work hard. Well, harder.

We had our college Fest in the past two days. It was tiring. Annoying. I fought with more than one faculty about my work. Turns out creativity is not appreciated as much as how pretty the work is. Dumbheads. Also our college fest sucks, so lol.

I had to  go to Chennai today. And my dad booked a return train ticket. Then I took a general ticket at the counter and got on the train.  Never before in my life have I felt like an object as I felt on it. Maybe it's the way blonde hair or the way I dress but practically every single person on that train looked me up and down like an object. So I left and booked a plane ticket. Made my father book a plane ticket. Which he booked twice cause the first one he booked for March 24th. It's been a morning.

Love,
Upa.