how to???

Dear Upa,

so um,,,,,,

a lot happened.

1. my dream came true????

Hernando from Sense8 had said, “There's nothing more frightening than having a dream come true,” and Paulo Coelho had said, “It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting,” and I had said, “pati gayu.”

Because seriously, while I didn’t exactly expect the world to be a complete magical fairytale after I achieved something I’d been working for for over a year and wanted since god knows when, I don’t think I’m sure what I exactly expected. Like??? Now what??? I’m here, and now I need to actually do something about it. Is life seriously telling me that having a mental breakdown every single day to get into college was going to lead to having a mental breakdown every single day in college? Because it’s getting a little ridiculous now.

I mean see, I know I panic too much. I’m too ambitious for my own good, and not even in a sensible way. College is more wonderful than I ever imagined and I’m losing it because my brain hates me, so even I don’t know whether to be ecstatic or depressed. 

I’m just going to take Jae’s advice and never have a dream again. It’s horrifying, because I never thought I’d get this far and now I have no idea what I’m doing. Now I’m going to set goals, and I’m going to try my best to achieve them. Like BTS had said, “No more dream.”

(screw u and ur dismissive attitude toward classics like no more dream jin ur not a tru army if you slander your roots like this get rekt) (i lov u)

also im so weak for my classmate she was singing today and i was like,,, wow im so whipped save me

also im the crazy dog lady ppl who’ve spoken to me like once send me dog memes should i be worried about my branding 

2. you moved!

 Since you left, I figured you will have to make friends. I mean I am great and all, but other friends are important. Now, I am no expert in making friends. But I am pretty decent in making an impression on people. Whether it's bad or good, that really depends on the other person (it’s usually bad).

But see, I don’t think you need advice from me on how to make friends. You’ve got this. I’m a mess and I’ll only make things worse, I’m so strange I complimented 3 people today because everyone is so wonderful like a girl was talking to me and i was like “you hAVE RLLY  PRETTY EYES DID U KNOW” I’m not sure why people want to talk to me other than CR related work I feel so grateful like i have nothing to offer u other than nervous stammering u charitable angel thank u for speaking to me

…..but anyway,,,, you’ve got this. Just be yourself. Moving away is so hard, hands down one of the saddest and toughest parts of my life, but you’re way stronger than I am and you’re in college, where everyone is looking for a good friend. You’ll be fiiiine. 

You might feel homesick. Even if someone doesn’t give a damn about their city when they live there, we become super passionate when we leave, and Mumbai is quite addicting. It’s hard to find cities that match up to it (although I’ve heard only good things about Bangalore, other than like the traffic.) Please don’t feel pressured to open up to people immediately, you tend to do that a lot. It’ll happen when it happens, and it will happen. 

Relax. Try to eat and sleep on time. Buy a dustbin. I promise, it gets better. It’s probably super uncomfortable right now and it’s okay if you’re worried about it. It’s human. It’s also okay to smile if you’re worried, so don’t forget to smile and really mean it. 

Bangalore just got really lucky.

Bye for now,

Aditi.