Dear Aditi,
I feel like we have just to the point in out lives again where we are always suppose to be studying but also we never are. Or maybe just the point where we have to start thinking seriously again. And it sucks. All my addictions, none of which are drugs, are weighing me down.
Other things weighing me down. Mainly my emotions. So today is one of those rare days where I will full on talk about my feeling with no barriers and possibly no fandoms. So there was this girl in french class. I have never talked to her. Ever. But we always end up making eye contact. But not randomly it's mostly because she is very aesthetically appealing. Like not pretty, but good to look at if that makes sense. And I stare. And then we make eye contact and I never smile. Not once have I smiled at her and she smiled at me. She is basically that one person who I want to approach but don't know how because they don;t seem anything like a nerd or like caring about anything in particular. You know the types who are just in college, but like not trying to do anything better. Like one of the many cattle in our college. Just an extremely aesthetically pleasing cattle. This is not any sort of attraction. I refuse to believe it is.
Anyway, so she is there. And now our now mutual friend and my former crush and I hope you know who I am talking about; befriended her. Just like that. She just went up and talked and boom. She has the 'hots' for her now.
Now I don't have a problem with this but it's frustrating that I can't do that. That I can't just go up to a person and talk to them and I really hate that because I want to be like that. What makes it worse is that she makes it sound like it's no big deal.
So I am jealous about really dumb things but it is really weighing my heart down so I guess normal to talk about your feeling, right?
Love,
upa.
I feel like we have just to the point in out lives again where we are always suppose to be studying but also we never are. Or maybe just the point where we have to start thinking seriously again. And it sucks. All my addictions, none of which are drugs, are weighing me down.
Other things weighing me down. Mainly my emotions. So today is one of those rare days where I will full on talk about my feeling with no barriers and possibly no fandoms. So there was this girl in french class. I have never talked to her. Ever. But we always end up making eye contact. But not randomly it's mostly because she is very aesthetically appealing. Like not pretty, but good to look at if that makes sense. And I stare. And then we make eye contact and I never smile. Not once have I smiled at her and she smiled at me. She is basically that one person who I want to approach but don't know how because they don;t seem anything like a nerd or like caring about anything in particular. You know the types who are just in college, but like not trying to do anything better. Like one of the many cattle in our college. Just an extremely aesthetically pleasing cattle. This is not any sort of attraction. I refuse to believe it is.
Anyway, so she is there. And now our now mutual friend and my former crush and I hope you know who I am talking about; befriended her. Just like that. She just went up and talked and boom. She has the 'hots' for her now.
Now I don't have a problem with this but it's frustrating that I can't do that. That I can't just go up to a person and talk to them and I really hate that because I want to be like that. What makes it worse is that she makes it sound like it's no big deal.
So I am jealous about really dumb things but it is really weighing my heart down so I guess normal to talk about your feeling, right?
Love,
upa.
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